Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize