He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
