Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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