Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
What a fucking waste of an outfit
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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