look no pants
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
