yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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