Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
