he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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