i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize
