I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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