battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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