How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize