My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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