Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
