Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
