Screwed.edu
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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