i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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