his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
