The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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