Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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