i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
