I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
