Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
