So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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