how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
