so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
