The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize