Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
