I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
