It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Bring me that man meat
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
