guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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