I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize