Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
vagina is talking i cant
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
