OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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