somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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