I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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