yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
