i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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