morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
