He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
