Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
