are you still at the devil's house?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
