bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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