pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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