Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
