Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
