I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
