Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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