a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
