I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
