ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
