6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
