dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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