I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
