Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
