she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
