found the other keg... it's in the tree
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Randomize
