in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize