went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
