well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
